It’s something we all struggle with at some point in our life.
Out of all the experiences, the ones most deeply embedded into our memory are those of betrayal. We forget a lot of things but we never forget the hurt caused by our loved ones.
Especially painful are instances of poor judgement that leave us feeling foolish, insecure, and to a certain degree, emotionally crippled and incapable of trusting our own intelligence. We may survive the consequent trauma but we carry the resentment, anger, and pain like a living, breathing thing within us, eating away at our self-confidence, self-esteem, and our ability to feel joy.
You may not even realise it but if you’re holding onto anger against someone, you’re causing physical, mental, and emotional harm. More importantly, you’re denying yourself all that you’re capable of becoming if you would just shift your focus onto something positive and productive.In fact, nurturing resentment and anger could be almost addictive.
Every time you recall the moment of anger, it triggers adrenaline in your body and fuels a series of negative emotions, and before you know it, you’re simply relieving the whole incident all over again – keeping the pain intact and alive.
Constant need for vindication may keep you from seeing the concerned incident in a clear light. It may lead to you playing the victim in a situation that’s a learning experience at best and a forgettable incident at worst.
Forgiving someone doesn’t diminish your pain nor does it necessitate a resumption of the old relationship.
You’ve experienced something that has left you hurt and in pain, whether you choose to play the victim, the survivor, or the fighter is up to you. Hugging the hurt to your chest will make you a victim.
Processing the hurt and moving on with your life makes you a survivor, but when you learn from the experience and grow with it, it makes you a fighter. None of these scenarios require you to declare your forgiveness or allow the person back into your life.
Related: Exercises To Help Resolve Emotional Issues
Someone does something wrong and depending on its nature, they deserve to be punished. In certain circumstances, the said punishment may call for the intervention of external parties.